we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
