its not stalking. its research.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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