i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
