His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
