I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Randomize
