Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
