I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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