New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this will be a night to untag.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
