What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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