she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
