So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize