Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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