That's intense
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
