Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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