McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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