I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
