they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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