Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That accounts for only three of the penises
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
