I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
