just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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