omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude i'm inner monologue high
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
