So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize