can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
