I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
