sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
