That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
