Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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