the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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