Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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