90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
