hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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