do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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