I look better un-naked...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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