I think i peed on brittanys purse
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
