Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
