I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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