Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
