what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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