So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
