I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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