oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
