BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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