if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
