birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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