I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
