As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
