I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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