She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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