My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
