Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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