Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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