I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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