i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize