so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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