I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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