Just took my morning after pill in the library
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
