my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
