just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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