If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
only if we run a train.
done.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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