McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
