I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
