i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
