yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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