I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
