Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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